There once was a man
who ate way too much of the
Mexican bean soup

his mother had made
for all the starving children
in the slums of their town.

Not only did he
deprive all the children of
their only meal, but

as a result of
eating all that soup himself
all in one sitting

his head grew so big
and purple, he couldn’t fit
through his front doorway,

and as a result,
he spent the rest of his life
never going out;

he just sat there and
ate all the carpet and the
wallpaper and the

insects that flew in
through the broken window which
had been smashed by the

hungry children who
only just had enough strength
to lift the bricks up.

And so, as you see,
the moral of this story
is that you shouldn’t

eat other peoples
Mexican bean soup, because
they’ll throw bricks at you

and also, you won’t
be able to run away
because your huge head,

your great big purple
swolen mass of a brain-case
will keep you trapped in

the living room, where
you will be forced to regret
eating all that soup.

Oh what a silly
silly silly silly man,
and also stupid.

He should have eaten
only a normal portion
of his mummy’s soup.

If he had done that,
his head would still be normal
and he wouldn’t need

to eat the carpet
or the wallpaper or the
insects that fly in

through the window and
directly into his mouth
like some kind of mad

kamikaze-style
demented insect loonies
with nothing to lose.